Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
