you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
