i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
How does one acquire holy water?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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