she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
