i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
