You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
