ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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