nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
