Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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