so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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