if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
