She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
