Please, let me fuck your mom
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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