i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize