I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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