so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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