Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
