Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
