i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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