I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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