Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
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