So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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