I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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