If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize