i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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