ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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