Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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