Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
