You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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