just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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