maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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