Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
