just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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