So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
