it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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