Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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