I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
