friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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