Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
