She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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