Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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