trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just forgot I was standing up.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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