Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
