I heard we made out
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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