Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
