So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize