I need help removing her.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Can I color on your dick again?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
