I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
