im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
