I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
