i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
