I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize