not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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