he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
So apparently I’m into choking now
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
