Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
