he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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