it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
