yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
