wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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