Where did you get a picture of my penis
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
