His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Those nachos came to me in a dream
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
