She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
