We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
