Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
